Then you should watch the super creeptastic video* !
Funktionide Part II, designed by Stefan Ulrich, is essentially a body pillow...that breathes. Made of electroactive polymers or "artificial muscles," the purpose of this snuggle form is to help one through the lonelies.
What? No big comfy slug for you? Com'ere, lemme give you a hug...
* Thanks goes to Towleroad for the tip off AND for calling it a "schmoo."