How I'd Sell It: Red Table Runner

Racing Stripe Red Table Runner, at Etsy, $30

Etsy vendor, Couch Design, says this table runner is perfect for Valentine's Day. I get the whole "red + white = love" thing but this item does not turn my wistful thoughts to roses, kisses, or anything involving candy and cards. In fact, the only thing I see when I look at it, is a track suit. And unless you live in... [insert your idea of a trashy city here & then tell me in comments!] ...track suits aren't terribly sexy.

As for marketing, Couch Design was nearly on target with the title of the item, Racing Stripe Table Runner. In my bloghead, I tried to figure out a better (and non-romantic) angle:

Hmmmm...Track suit...table runner...

Then I exploded into giggles because the dang thing just wrote itself.