Design Debate: Narrow-Slat Bench

Porcelain & I usually agree on matters of design. In the very least, we understand each other and validate the other's point. Yet we are Porcelain & Cardboard, two extremely different entities, and areas of contention are to be expected. Sometimes we just don't see eye to eye. We tussle via email, we tend to get snarky, and we never back down. Welcome to the quick, dirty, and grammatically incorrect world of...

Design Debate: Round 1

[ding!]

Porcelain:
i'm liking this bench...

Narrow-Slat Bench, at West Elm

Cardboard:
yeah? i'm having an issue (or issues?) with this bench. it's okay and all but the first thing i think about when i see this bench is that time when Formica spilled red wine through the similarly-slatted coffeetable at TMK's wedding shower. granted, this is a bench (not a coffeetable) and you probably won't be drinking red wine when you're putting on your wellies but you might and then i fear you'd be in for some trouble. also, the sharp angle of the legs is freaking me out...

Porcelain:
yeah i would not use this as a coffee table. something to put in a hallway by the front door or at the end of a bed.

Cardboard:
those crazy chrome legs definitely do NOT whisper "boudoir" to me.

Porcelain:
it would fit in with a very sleek, minimalist bedroom. not some fancy rococo boudoir.

Cardboard:
but if you sleep in a "sleek, minimalist bedroom," your bed is most likely only about 19cm off the ground. so that would make this bench way too high to sit at the foot. i know - you could use it for your headboard and have a nice built-in shelf!

Porcelain:
dude, 19cm is only about 7.5in. and most modern mattresses are way thicker than that. and let's not forget about pillowtops. my mattress doesn't even have a pillowtop and is 15in deep. i'd say even if they get the plushest of pillowtop mattresses and have the lowest of low platform beds, the bench will be about even with the bed.

Cardboard:
my 19cm platform bed was an exaggeration (but an interesting concept...). so let's say you have no frame of any kind - that you're one of those artsy sleep-only-on-a-mattress-because-i'm-so-grounded-and-fantastic, then what? but wait...now that i think about it, we're back to square one because bedrooms, be they boudoiry or be they modern, they will all see their fair share of red wine and -oop- there you go, spilling it through the slats.

Porcelain:
what you do in your bedroom is not the same with what others do in theirs! tipsy red wine drinker!

Cardboard:
i'm just sayin'

(gimage: tipsy red wine drinker) *

WINNER: Porcelain.
Between the time when we actually had this debate (last week) and posted it (just now), West Elm has sold out of this item. Cardboard has been over-ruled. This item is hot.

* Gimage = Image found when stated phrase searched in Google